ADHD by Anonymous

I am currently 20 years old, I am female, and I have had ADHD forever.  I was a VERY active kid, and once I started kindergarten I could not sit still or stop talking and was always bored.  My father is a psychologist and realized I had all the symptoms of an ADHD child.  They had my pediatrician prescribe me a sample trial of Ritalin.  It only took one dose for my parents to realize Ritalin is not a healthy drug.  I turned from a happy, bubbly, and loving child into an aggressive angry one.  Needless to say I was not given any more Ritalin. 

School was a constant struggle for me, although I was often one of the brighter students. My desk was always moved right next to the teacher’s desk, I suppose to prevent me from talking to the other kids.  I think I talked a lot because I got bored quickly. Fortunately I loved reading despite my ADHD, but only if the book interested me. 

All of middle school and half of high school were horrible, and I was always in trouble for talking.  The school had a system for rating behavior.  The good kids got to take a fun field trip and the bad ones had to stay at school and do work.  To me it seems this only reaffirms in a child mind that she is just a bad person, when maybe it’s just a bad method of education for hyperactive kids.  I mellowed out a little bit in high school, but it was still VERY hard for me to sit still or be quiet. 

I ended up skipping a lot of school. I would slack off and then do all the makeup work the last week of class.  Another reason I missed so much school was that I couldn't fall asleep at night.  Looking back through my journal, I see that when I was 12 years old I wouldn't be asleep until 2 or 3 am.  That seems extremely late for a 12 year old.

Well I barely graduated from high school, and it was an all-round bad experience for me.  A few months after high school I had some friends who smoked pot and I eventually tried it.  At first because of religion I felt guilty, but I really liked the sense of peace I felt.  I eventually became a full time user and my whole life changed.  I had felt bad in social situations, because I had always been told I talk too much.  Smoking marijuana helped me to realize that silence is golden, and I became more in tune with how others were feeling.  I quickly got the point when I would realize when somebody became bored with a conversation. 

My insomnia disappeared after the first few months of daily use.  I noticed it was more effective when I smoked throughout the entire day, not just at night.  For the first time ever, I held steady jobs; I didn't sleep in and miss work any more.  In fact I spent a summer doing sales working 12 hour days and was stoned the whole time. 

Besides the beneficial mental impacts, it has helped with physical issues as well.  I have scoliosis with a 27 degree curvature, which has resulted in muscle tightness and pressure and pain throughout my back.  I also have severe knee pain from being an avid skier.  When I smoke marijuana, the pain seems more like a slight sensation of heat or warmth, which is much more tolerable.

I was recently arrested for marijuana and cannot smoke due to probation.  My insomnia has returned.  Even when I am tired, the pain is so bad I still can't sleep.  I usually just stay up till I am so exhausted that I fall asleep regardless of pain.  Because of this, it’s sometimes 5:00 am when I fall asleep.  My job performance has gone down because I am sleep-deprived.  When I am talking or reading, my foot is always tapping at a mile a minute.  I have noticed that even though I can't smoke, some of the benefits have been residual.  When I was smoking I realized what being relaxed felt like, and I liked it.  I don't want to be excessively hyper the next year and a half, so I am trying really hard to remain relaxed the way I like to be.

All in all I think MJ has helped my life immensely.  I even discuss with my Dad the psychologist how MJ has affected my mind, and even though he is conservative he agrees that it sounds like MJ could be a cure for ADHD.  He has heard this from clients of his as well as me.  I have also asked many diagnosed ADHD friends of mine how MJ has affected them, and it all seems to sound like my story.  I have yet to try school while smoking marijuana, but it can't get much worse than it was before.  At least I will be able to sit still when I do go to college.