Depression by Anonymous

I'm a 19-year-old female who was diagnosed with depression nearly four years ago.  I've been through all the traditional antidepressants (all of which made me worse). Prozac sent me to hospital (the only time I've followed through with suicidal thoughts) and the others just made me sleepier (which I didn't think was possible.) About a year ago, I discovered that smoking marijuana always brought me out of a low mood, regardless of whether it was a full blown suicidal psychosis or just feeling down. It got to the point where my mother would say "Oh Jesus, stop being a drama queen and have a pipe." I suppose I didn't realize how heavily I relied on marijuana to medicate myself until two weeks ago, when I moved to a new state and quit. Since then, I've been a complete mess of mood swings and tears and general emotion. I found your site when I was researching whether my thoughts on medicating myself were valid.