Depression by Anonymous

About 15 years ago I became depressed. I don't believe in suicide so I merely began to wait out my life. It really seemed to come on very quickly. It's almost as if I can remember the day I became sad. I stopped caring how I looked or if I had friends. I just wanted to be alone. Fortunately, I didn't feel this way about work. I did make it through college and I do have a good job now. I was fine during the day... putting on a great front. Everyone in my life that I knew probably thought I was balanced person. Nights and weekends were a different story. I stayed in my house with the curtains drawn. I wouldn't even go to the door when the doorbell rang. It didn't matter whether I knew the person or not. If it was someone I did know and they brought it up later, I would smile and say Id been out. I was totally in my own self-imposed prison.

About three years ago, I finally broke down, to my ob-gyn of all people. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I'd been depressed for so long, but I did tell him enough for him to prescribe Zoloft. Within a week I felt better. Within a month, I felt fantastic. I felt better on Zoloft than I had in 12 years. I got two promotions at work. I was dating and going places with other people after work or on weekends.

Unfortunately, after about a year the Zoloft stopped working. I also started having frequent insomnia. I started feeling bad and determined to not get back in the shape I was in before the Zoloft, so I asked a guy I know for a joint. He gave it to me and I used it. It makes me feel better. It helps me be more tolerant at work. It helps me relax and sleep more restfully.

I do not use marijuana before or during work. I don't even use it every day. When I do use it, I smoke just a tiny pinch a couple of hours after work, when I've got my work around the house done. I usually only take two inhalations. I've now joined a bowling league. I've lost weight. I joined a quilting club. I redecorated three of the rooms in my house. I'm sleeping well.. I'm not sad. Ive bought tickets to all the Broadway plays. I go out at least once a week with friends. I'm feeling very good, and I believe it's from a little bit of marijuana every day. That's all it could be. I don't take any other kind of drug at all, legal or illegal. It's the only change I made in my life.

I'm not saying everyone should try it. This is just my story.