Opiate Abstinence by Kelly

I am a 36 year old female who first tried marijuana at 17. I come from a very abusive family and was sexually abused from the age of 7. I am also on a methadone program after suffering heroin addiction on and off since I was 22. After not smoking for a few years, I tried smoking again to help with withdrawal from opiates (including prescribed morphine & codeine) after suffering an accident which caused 3rd degree burns to both my legs. After months in the burns unit in a hospital and several skin grafts, I became addicted again to opiates. I couldn't function, hold down a job or continue my seven-year relationship with a non-user. My family doctor decided methadone was the best option. I was on 77mg for 18 months until I decided enough was enough and started reducing my dose at 2 mg every 10 days.  Now I am down to 13 mg and suffering a lot from the withdrawals. It is affecting my life so much that I am having trouble coping in my job and my relationship. I started smoking marijuana again 3 months ago and it really helped me to cope with the methadone reduction, but my partner says its 'BAD' He says that he  can't stop himself from having a smoke but that itís not good for him because he suffers depression/paranoia. So 4 days ago I stopped smoking marijuana, and it is not helping. Tomorrow I will go out and get some more, as its the only thing which helps me to stay off heroin and relieve a lot of my withdrawal symptoms, including loss of appetite, anger, mood swings, insomnia, sweating, lack of energy or interest in life itself, and severe vomiting and muscle cramps. I have tried every possible prescribed medication to alleviate these symptoms to no avail, so its back to smoking marijuana (about 1 gram per day)-- and hereís to complete abstinence from opiates. Thanks for reading my story, and I hope it helps someone in a similar situation