Anger by Richard S.

Born in Worcester, Massachusetts in 1960 to young and liberal parents, I first smoked at age 9. Life went along fine until 1975 when my first taste of alcohol and a divorce had changed my life; I became an angry party animal with little self esteem.

Dropping out of high school in 1976 and moving into the working sector had put me into what I viewed at the time as a real bummer of a life. Moving along, in 1984 I had gotten married and tried with little success to settle down. In 1986 I had given into my wife's demands to see a shrink' Well to be short, I have been to many shrinks over the years with every different diagnosis and medication prescribed to deal with depression, manic behavior; nothing had worked even quitting drinking, smoking pot and religion. Family responsibilities were the only thing keeping me from taking my own life.

Well, in 1995 I was at a friendís house who still toked up and I choose to try it again. Thank God I did; yes it is more potent now. Against my shrinks advice I continued to smoke (never any alcohol again) and went off the daily diet of welbutren, paxil and trazadone to sleep with nothing but great results.

I am still married to the same woman and have two great kids in private Christian school. My wife is a state licensed counselor who does not smoke and was appalled when I started back up until she started seeing the change I was making. My concentration started coming back fist, then my anger dropped off to the point my own mother couldn't understand how I could have found so much inner peace in just a one year period of time. The best part is I don't need to light up all day long only a couple of hours before bed and whenever I choose during the day. Is it the pot or a miracle?  I am really not sure but I have lost that annoying noise in my head that always kept my concentration level so low that I think it fueled my terrible anger.

Oh, by the way my shrink still to this date is against this behavior but everyone else who has known me a lot longer tells me to stick with what works for me.