Bipolar Disorder by Star

,I started smoking marihuana after I turned 40; I have bipolar depression but didnít know it until I was 36. I led a very wild life and did what I wanted to do all my life.  I have had all the ups and downs that you would expect from bipolar and then some....I was raised by bikers and have done things I cannot repeat online. Last year I started to smoke marihuana on a whim and found to my amazement that I slept very well for the first time in my LIFE!!!  Thinking it may have been just chance, I tried it again. And I slept well and woke up feeling like I could face the world for a while.   I decided to test this once more and didnt smoke any for 3 nights. All three nights were back to misery and bad days to follow.  Then I smoked on the third night and lo and behold1I slept wonderfully and woke up the next day feeling regenerated and ready to face that world!!! I was so amazed that I have been smoking every night before bed and have been able to lower my medications.

I have been on all the mood pills you can imagine, along with years of self-medication and years and years of self-destructive behavior, and for the first time in my life I feel mostly in control.

Less and less I have the  feeling of being the one on the outside looking in.   I can sit and talk to people without getting angry at them for nothing....I wont stop smoking now, whether Iím arrested or not.