Bipolar Disorder by Robyn
I've been suffering from type 2 bipolar disorder pretty much all my life. I discovered the miracle of marijuana when I was in high school, but never started smoking regularly until I had to leave college because of a severe breakdown related to the bipolar. In the time between when I left college and when I was scheduled to come back, I smoked every day and noticed a great improvement of my mood and outlook on the world. I've been on prescriptions since I was 14 (I'm 19 now), including lithium, Depakote, Effexor, Neurontin, Wellbutrin, and Zoloft, and none seem to work very well for me.. I have been hospitalized for bipolar before, and was almost hospitalized when I left college. If I feel like I am headed down another depression spiral, I smoke a little bit of weed and it doesn’t hurt as much and feels more manageable. I am also a cutter/self-harmer, and have been for as long as I've known I've had bipolar, but I haven't cut since I started smoking every day. I've wanted to since, but the impulses to hurt myself aren’t as strong when I am smoking. I think marijuana has allowed me a new lease on life at the most critical time in my life, when I am trying to figure out what I will be doing for the rest of it.
The state I have legal residency in and the state I go to college in have medical marijuana laws, and I am currently in the process of investigating if I am eligible for this. I've never been able to foresee my future, but since I've been smoking more I actually can make out on the horizon some things that I would like to do. That’s a huge step for me. I still smoke every day, and I thoroughly enjoy it. I am just afraid of being caught and suffering criminal penalties for something I don't believe should be criminalized.
The medications I am on right now make me nauseous, especially right after I take them, often to the point where I no longer want to have the mood stabilizing effects of lithium. Often cannot smoke after taking my medications. It is unnerving to know that things that can harm you much more (like alcohol) are legal everywhere yet a plant that actually helps people is still considered a criminal thing to possess.If there was any way I could get it so that I would be able to keep up my current way of living (smoking every day) and not constantly live in fear of being caught, it would relieve so many of my anxieties about losing financial aid, losing the respect of those around me (although most already know I do this), and losing my right to not be in jail. It would make my life so much better.. I am a honors student in college and I find that marijuana works for me. I know it also works for others in my situation. I believe that marijuana is a very effective medication for bipolar from reading the experiences of other and knowing my own. Now we just need to convince the government.