Bipolar Disorder by Anonymous
I have struggled with Bipolar II for approximately 12 yrs. I have been prescribed: tegretol, lithium, prozac, celexa, welbutrin, provigil, ritalin, zoloft, lithobid, lexapro, neurontin, clonazepam, amphetamine salts, trileptal, and a few I don't remember. NONE of these medications has been able to prevent me from dipping into depression with a significant fatigue, malaise, and a particular kind of headache. I have had the experience EVERY time that when these episodes come, if I smoke marijuana, the symptoms go away EVERY time. The only way to equate it is like when an aspirin makes a headache go away. Only with the marijuana the symptoms go away spontaneously. I become cheerful, the headache goes away and I can function MUCH better than before. If all these other meds could do this, maybe I wouldn't need the marijuana, but they NEVER have been able to prevent the suffering like marijuana does.
I am currently prescribed: trileptal 600 mg. 1 @ am and 2 @ HS, generic welbutrin 200mg. 1@ am and 1 @ noon, lexapro 20 mg. 1and 1/2 tab @ am. the clonazepam 1mg and amphetamine salts 20mg., are PRNs.
I am angry because I have known for many years what helps me, but I am a criminal because I just want to feel better. I have fought back from disability due to BP to be able to work full time again, and I did it with the help of marijuana. I have never told any of my physicians because then any decrease in functioning likely would be attributed to the marijuana and I also fear what any insurance company or legal proceeding would do with that knowledge. I am so sick of this.