Emotional Stability by Amy Johnston
Marijuana changed my life, and much for the better. I am a
successful, 27-year-old college graduate, and 9 credits short of a Master's
in Health Education. My teenage
years and early college years were marked by what I can only characterize as
extreme emotional instability. It has been several years since I've taken a
psychology class, so please forgive me for not being able to remember the
more precise scientific explanation, but to put it simply, I was unable to
control my "flight or fight" response to upsetting stimulus.
Simply walking down the street, thinking to myself, I would
often stumble upon an embarrassing or upsetting thought, and I would
immediately begin to relive the experience, with ten times greater negative
intensity. By the time I would reach home, I would be sweaty, red, shaky,
and often in tears of rage and frustration.
I was also easily overcome by stress. The load of tests and
papers due in my sophomore year would have me on the phone to my mother in
hysterics at least twice a week. I was a good student, and really, had
nothing before me that I couldnt truly handle, and I knew it. But one
little flicker of anxiety would roll like a snowball into an avalanche of
I am not what I would consider a hysterical woman. I have
always been levelheaded and goal-oriented. I was simply unable stop minor
emotional irritation from developing into full-blown episodes of emotional
Between my sophomore and junior years, I began to smoke
marijuana a couple times a week. That summer stands out as the time when I
finally became myself. I was
able to keep myself under control. I was able to stay positive and upbeat
regardless of the stresses and situations before me. Actually, that summer
should have been one of the worst: I was taking a full load of summer
classes, very difficult classes, plus maintaining a job. I felt balanced and
I didn't realize that it was the marijuana until it became in
short supply later that year, and I was forced to abstain for a few months.
Within weeks I was back to the old problems, acute anxiety, uncontrollable
hysterics, and feeling of being out of control of my future. When I was
finally able to smoke marijuana again, and that delicious calm
came over me once again, I realized that I had found the most powerful medicine
I have ever taken. Once again, I felt empowered and calm. Absolutely
Since then, I have used marijuana several times a week. I
have also found that I appreciate beauty much more, especially in nature. My
sense of smell has improved steadily (sounds odd, but it has) to the point I
can recognize people by their scent when they enter the building, long
before I see or hear them.
I have experienced a greater oneness and ability to
communicate with animals (I won't elaborate but that's very true too) and I
feel there is a balance and serenity in my soul that did not exist before. I
have felt intuitively the oneness of God and nature, and spirituality has
pervaded my thoughts and feelings. I cannot imagine where I would be if I
had not started smoking marijuana.
Please keep up the good work. There must be thousands out
there like me that would benefit from the wonderful medicine.