Multiple Symptoms by Anonymous

I am disabled and suffer from many many problems. My disability is officially PTSD - chronic pain- fibromyalgia - djd/osteoarthritis - migraines and cyclic-recurrent-severe-chronic depression with suicidal tendencies. I have also been diagnosed with anorexia, OCD, agoraphobia, TMJ and COPD. I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and I have suffered from multiple panic/anxiety disorders over the past twenty years (I am an adult survivor of incest/abuse). Currently; I am homebound by both my pain and agoraphobia. I have high blood pressure, they believe due to my f pain but also  as a cigarette smoker. 

Well...  In 2001, after reaching the point of not being able to work and having applied for disability, I tried marijuana after much encouragement from others. I'd tried it back in the 70s when I was young and dumb just for partying but stopped as soon as I started my family.. In 2001-2005 I used it on a regular basis in my attempts to stay off f prescription drugs for my pain and anxiety. When I used it, the relief it gave me physically and emotionally was better than anything I was prescribed (Oxycontin and fentanyll) because the scripts wiped me out.  But because of my nervous disorders I'm just too 'paranoid' to use the marijuana now because I am afraid of getting arrested.   If it is not decriminalized soon (it should be legal but decriminalization is better than nothing).

I will probably fade away to nothing very soon. I take nothing now but Xanax and Cymbalta. Marijuana helped with my appetite, pain, nausea, vomiting, and mood swings.