Possible Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Agitation by Anonymous
I use marijuana primarily as a mood stabilizer and as a means of allowing me to "let go”, as without it I am prone to obsess over trivial things and become extremely agitated over my inability to control them. I believe these irrational behaviors to have something to do with heredity, as my childhood was less than pleasant living with a father who would go berserk over something like a window being left open or one of the tools in his garage being out of place.
While it is embarrassing to admit, I have become angry over things like my wife driving my car and turning the ignition off without first turning off the radio. I would actually be mad for the rest of the day after getting in the car, starting it and having the radio come on. I knew this response was not normal or rational but I could not control my emotions! Another example of this dysfunction was my finances. Even knowing my income was greater than my monthly obligations, I would find myself obsessing over money and depriving myself of things I needed in the fear that I would not have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month .I have never been diagnosed by a professional but have come to the realization that I must have some form of obsessive compulsive disorder. In layman’s terms, I have a screw loose!! Marijuana is a Godsend as long as I smoke regularly (I need not smoke all day every day) at least once a week or until these feelings and behaviors simply do not exist. Weed keeps me sane! I love it! Weed helps me to see the big picture and not sweat the small stuff. My wife can attest that I am a much better person to live with when I have my medication. Marijuana brings me closer to God, as I feel compelled to pray when I am "stoned " It helps me to see things in my life that are wrong and to realize when I am acting selfishly . It also helps me to empathize with others and generally be a more loving, kinder person.
I consider myself a good citizen and do not like the fact that I break the law. I have three children and do not like having to hide my weed smoking from them. It would be wonderful for me if weed was legal, as I would not have to go on weekly or monthly "quests for herb” or have to get burned by greedy people who sell bags of stems and seeds. I also think that if pot were legal you could be sure the plants are not being sprayed with any noxious pesticides, and pot consumers could get any strain or "brand" they liked without having to deal with varying quality and or degrees of potency. I use pot as a medication and therefore try to smoke only enough to get the desired effect, I sometimes smoke too much and find myself staring at the wall for a few hours. I would recommend that anyone who uses pot medicinally just take one toke and wait for the effects to be felt, then if needed take another puff, as it is easy to overmedicate if you are not careful. It is also a good idea to know the law in your state-- how much can you possess and be in violation, misdemeanor.. felony? I have grown my own and was quite successful at it but became worried about having large quantities in my possession or getting caught growing.
I can attest that I have smoked for about 15 years and have no ill effects on my memory; it has not made me sterile, lazy, or stupid. Pot in my experience has not been a gateway to other drugs (I do not even drink). I am college educated, gainfully employed, a good father and a home owner, All this, I feel, is because of, not in spite of, my marijuana use so put that in your pipe and smoke it!!!