Chronic Depression by Alyson

I have been on (and briefly off) antidepressants for over ten years.  I never really smoked marijuana until five years ago.  This was when I was going through a particularly difficult time in my life (loss of job, loss of apartment).  I was on the verge of cracking up.  My antidepressant (Zoloft) stopped working.  I knew someone who smoked weed and thought I'd give it a try.  I was immediately calmed.  My anxiety disappeared and in its place I felt a sort of blessed gratitude for what little I did have.  Since then, I have used weed frequently (depending on supply) and find it a sure cure for lack of motivation, feelings of despair, suicidal ideation, you name it.  It's as though pot makes me mentally well in every sense.  I'm able to cope with difficult situations.  I problem solve much easier.  I am mentally more active.  Without weed, I feel aimless, blocked, half alive.  The problem, of course, is that the effects are temporary, though one can get some mileage from the common sense insights that occur when high.  So far, I've not regained my psychological equilibrium using approved medicines.  I know that weed works, but in Massachusetts we don't have med-pot laws, and finding it is difficult.  It is a shame.