Hypomania by Anonymous

I am a 40 year old female veteran of the US Army. I have osteoarthritis in my spine [post surgical] and suffer from a manic disorder [I'm not bipolar at all; I am an ultra-rapid cycling manic].

I started smoking pot a while after I met my current partner. It was fun smoking with him, and I liked getting high; that was all it was about for a long time.

One week, in the autumn, I smoked every day while on vacation. I seemed to have fewer tantrums, and fewer problems with restlessness, fidgeting, irritability, and the vicious impulsive spending sprees that damage so many people's lives during severe manic episodes. My sex drive even ramped down a little - it was nice. It seemed... normal.  I began smoking every day deliberately trying not to miss any days at all... I started keeping track of tantrums, fights, fits of rage... I was having so few... my PMS wasn't so apocalyptic either.

 I applied for medical marijuana [Oregon] and my doctor signed my application.  I actually go to work every day without worrying I will do or say something that costs me my job - and without worrying that I will destroy everything I own, or my relationship, in a fit of rage.

I'm finally happy. My productivity isn't offset by the liability of having me around anymore... and I'm not dulled by dangerous drugs with permanent side-effects!